The People I Let into My Heart <3


An older gentleman: "What do you do for a living?"

Me: "I'm a model."

Him: "What did you do before?"

Me: "I worked in cancer research."

Him: "Really? That's not what stupid girls do."


I'm struggling right now a bit with my new identity. People nervous to have me near their husbands in polite company, people who idolize me and project their dreams and insecurities onto me beyond reason, people who become so obsessed with me that it interferes with my life and ability to function. 

It's very new to me and I'm not used to this attention. I love to meet new fans, inspire people, and make new friends all over the world. That's so rewarding for me, and I'm so happy to have you in my life. But I didn't come into this career to become famous. I don't need everyone's attention. Actually the opposite, I get nightmares almost every night that I can't keep up with everyone and disappoint people. Some aspects of this wonderful new life have spun out into fear. 

I made this Patreon to hopefully filter through the noise and make a private group of people who really care about me. Who want to celebrate with me when things go well and help me when things go badly. Who don't want to just tear a piece out of me for themselves, shout at me the loudest, and clutter my mind. I really like this quiet room we made for ourselves, where hopefully we can be true. 

It's going to take me time to build this up and make it what I want it to be. Thank you for being patient, supporting me, and watching me grow :)

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