Timid Shower Video (Nudes)

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Herro! I took a shower this morning (*gasp*) and decided to record it for you. It's more timid and nervous and goofy than sexy but hopefully I can work up to that. I don't understand why kids don't like baths. It's seriously incredible. Easily top three experiences of the day. 

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If you had a ton of extra money to do something cool to your housing situation, what would you do? I'd double pane my bedroom windows and add a surround sound system and make it a rain room. I went to this incredible installation in the Art Gallery of Ontario where they simulated a tsunami in Japan with real water beating against the windows, humidity, and sounds of heavy rain whipping around you. My uncle said it was exactly like being back in Taiwan. I love listening to rain while falling asleep and it's a rare occurrence in California. Sleeping to rain in my bedroom would be so dope. But until then, showers are cool too :D

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Terrifying Train Track Mine Story (Nudes)

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Hey! Thank you for sticking with me. I'm trying to quit my anti-anxiety/depression medication because they've been giving me nerve pains and screaming tinnitus, and now I'm in the part of my recovery where I still have all the side-effects and withdrawal symptoms, but none of the benefits, so I've been on an emotional bender the past week. 

I sent personal monthly videos yesterday with exception of one :) and tomorrow I'll post a dance video. 

The Story Behind This Shoot

This set was from last year when I made regular trips to Las Vegas. It was the middle of the summer, blazing hot, and the photographer wanted to shoot in an abandoned mine shaft and ACTIVE train tracks. The mine was super fun and gave me insane ankle strengthening exercises walking on broken limestone in stilettos. He really wanted to shoot me lying down on the train tracks, and I was nervous but agreed. We shot a little bit and I heard the train horn, "Whooooooo"  and I told him I wanted to leave. He said, "No, no it's fine. I shoot here all the time. I know all about trains. I know the sounds. It's not close by. Let's keep shooting." And as an downtrodden little Asian women, I learned to defer to authority, especially since I need the money and sometimes photographers like to push or yell at me. So I kept shooting. "Whooooooo" The train was closer. I told him I was scared. I lived my whole life by a train. It's getting louder. I want to go. "No, no," he said, reasserting his train, field, and photography expertise. "WHOOO!" The train is eerily loud now. I said, "I can't do this. I need to go. I'm scared. I'm sorry." and I scampered off with my tail between my legs down the rocks below the tracks, defeated. Thirty seconds later, 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Train roars by, shaking the earth and throwing up debris. My skull and my ribs are shaking from the tremors. I don't know if you've ever stood next to a freight train going at full speed, but it's a force to behold. After the train leaves, I look at the photographer, he's in a sweat, staring forward. 

I really wish I grew up learning strength instead of weakness. It's common in many societies to teach children to obey and fear rather than to be strong and empowered. Many cultures routinely break their girls mentally like horses to teach them deference, submissiveness, and service to men, family, authority, anyone but themselves. 

Modeling has been my journey to reclaim myself, to fully own myself, my body, my life, and my spirit. Many scary things have happened to me, instead of letting fear rule my life and in the home, I've approached these fears head on and learned strength and conviction in the process. Instead of growing up soft and weak, spoon-fed indoctrinations through a slotted wall, waiting for permission to live, I ran away and became a wild and feral thing. And I'm a better friend, lover, and artist for it. Thank you for being part of my journey! 

What terrifying experience did you learn from? 

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Eek! Weight Gain Before Fashion Show

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I try not to weigh myself in order to stay sane, but took a peak today before my Saturday fashion show, and yikes! I'm the heaviest I've been in three years. That, and I get a message from my designer this morning informing me that I'm going to be wearing nothing but ethnic Hmong body jewelry... 

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Add to that, this model is pretty tiny. This figure is super coveted in the fashion industry and looks absolutely stunning on the runway, but I've never looked like this in my life. 

Coupled with that, I'm eating now better than ever, less stress-eating, and get enough exercise for a great bubble butt right now, but I've gotten comfy with my life and finally kicked all antidepressants. Which is great, but can also lead to weight gain (30% more likely to go up a weight class than untreated), especially the critical time window of 2-3 years after treatment, which is where I'm at. 

But dammit, I'm way too happy. I love you guys, life is great, food is delicious. So this will be the first time I'll try to lose weight without being super unhappy with how things are right now with my life. I love being curvy, but curvy body types don't gel naturally with fashion body types, and I want to slay this show and jump back into modeling like I never have before. To keep track, I've posted a video of my body right now and will update before my show and during the months after. 

What do you want to improve about yourself right now?

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This Bath is 🎶Poisonnnn🎵 Video (Nude)

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Hope you're well! Apparently tonight is the peak of the Perseid Meteor Shower, the most active meteor shower of the year. Sometimes up to 200 meteors an hour! I saw it back in Texas about 2013, and it was nice except for the fact that we had a full moon washing out everything. I want to watch the one tonight but honestly, I'll probably go to sleep after this XD

Here's a BTS video of me wiggling around in a colored bath with photographer Lou Roule. With the red lips and green water, it looks like something out of a fairy tale for me. It's a really cool effect and I can't wait to do it again in a nice, big tub. 

The photos from this set is really incredible and I can't wait to share them with you! 

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I would love to establish a niche for myself as an ass and bath model. That would make life so easy for me XD Much easier than specializing in nudes on glaciers in Iceland or something. How do those girls do that?

If you could have any whacky job, what would you pick?

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Flora Fauna Duo Figure Shoot (Nudes)

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Hi everyone! Hope you're well! I just got back from Los Angeles and shot for my friend's beer company, Palmia and had a small family reunion to celebrate my little brother introducing his fiance to everyone :D The two are high school sweethearts and they knew each other since they were five years old. It was really fun and sweet and I loved seeing everyone. I'll post the Palmia photos soon! 

I've also got an awful cough right now that so severe, I tore a ligament on my obliques and can barely walk right now XD I've never felt anything like this but I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow so that I can keep working. Wish me luck! 

I just got this set back from my shoot with Flora and Fauna, the hippie girl who stayed with me for a week with her boyfriend and baby, and SeconDLife Photography, the favorite photographer of every traveling model I've met. Gosh, you can really tell that she's really in touch with herself and an incredibly sensual person. She makes me look repressed and Puritanical in comparison! While I was doing the awkward hover hand over her, she ground her hips into me, and I felt this electric mix of hard pubic bone and fluffy pubic hair. It made me feel like a dude with a bomb ass girl at my place, and it was really cool! I have four sets from this shoot that I'll post gradually. I hope you enjoy! 

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Lounging in Bed Video (Nude)

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Hello! I hope you're well and having an amazing week! I've been sick lately and trying to rest up. I want to make more dancing videos but I can't go a few minutes without trying to hack up a lung XD I hope you enjoy this video of me lounging! Hoping to rest up enough to go to LA this Friday for the weekend. 

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(almost) Anonymous Thicknificent Dance Vid

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Here's a Patron-requested video: an anonymous bootylicious dance vid to OTW by Khalid. It's nice to get ideas from you guys because I'll know exactly what you'll like and it's fun to get new input. 

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A Deep Secret (Diary, Photos, and Video)

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[This diary post is Patreon-subscription only! But here are some pictures]

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