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Oh Canada 🇨đŸ‡Ļ Striptease

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Congrats on a new month, everyone!! I'm so happy that you've stuck it out with me so far and welcome my new members! I wanted to thank you all for your support with a rare striptease video and set of fun selfies. In case, you didn't know already, I'm Texan nÊe Canadian. I go back about once a year and always have fond memories of it. The AGO is my favorite art museum I've been to so far, you should definitely visit if you're in the area! 

If you guys have any ideas on videos, outfits, or themes, please let me know! I'm always welcome to new ideas. I'm doing a shoot with a lingerie company and on the beach next to Golden Gate bridge this week and can't wait to share them with you! 

Music is "Hideaway" by Kiesza, who's from Calgary! 

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New Month New Links!

I change the links every month so only subscribers will get new content. Get the new links below. 

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I hate Kpop 😆

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Good evening! I hope you're well! I've narrowed down two potential tenants who would take good care of my former elderly roommate and a fan helped me move a big dresser I got on Craigslist for $50 to my room. I cooked us dinner of a beef/soy spinach lasagna with mashed white beans instead of ricotta, and a banana pudding. I really like making healthier versions of comfort food. 

Anyways, I've always had an irrational hatred of Korean pop music. It's so saccharine, choreographed, artificial, and I've always felt suffocated by East Asian femininity ideals. As you can see, I'm a pretty thick Asian, fat by Asian standards, and Korean models/singers really push the limits of skinny, pale, plastic-surgery perfection that is antithetical to everything I am and want to be. 

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'Gee' by Girls Generation is an exception because it reminds me of my friend in college, a gay mixed-race Korean kid from Alabama. He loved how cute this song is. I think the dance is adorable so I recorded my version of it for you! It also includes me gagging, collapsing, and then coming back as a zombie. I uploaded two versions of the dancing. The first one, the dancing is better in my opinion, but the second one the theatrics are better. 

Fan Questions:

What songs would you like to see me dance to?

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Skinny Dipping in Inverness! (Nude Video)

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I hope you had a lovely Memorial Day weekend! I definitely had a blast. A few of my friends visited from Germany and it was a full three days of immersion in a language I started learning last week. Lots of gutteral "guuSCHH-GHHHUUH-ISH" *cough*

Yesterday I found myself in Inverness, which is a sleepy little beach town 1.5 hours from San Francisco, nestled in the Point Reyes National Seashore. My friends' friend has a cottage right on the water and is a Professor Emeritus. He has an MD, PhD, and MPH, and currently devotes his life to doing research on occupational safety, health, and working conditions. I don't think there is enough support for people to be safe and healthy when they work, and it breaks my heart when people need to sacrifice their health to feed their families, etc., so I think his research is really noble and worthwhile.

Anyways, it was 55-60°F, but I jumped into the water anyways for your viewing pleasure, and I've got to say that the water was salty, muddy, and full of slimy, solicitous seaweed that kept brushing up against my body and nether regions no matter where or how I swam. A little bit of the video is cut out where I say, "Oh, I guess since this is for social media, I should pretend that everything's perfect and I have lots of money and am in a tropical paradise." before I drop back into cold-ass, muddy water with seaweed up my cootch.

Afterwards, we returned to the tiny cottage and ate fresh, local fish prepared with an Old German recipe, salad greens from the garden, homemade Elderflower Italian soda, and local ice cream they kept in old Sauerkraut jars. Sehr lecker! It was really fobby and very wholesome :)

How was your holiday?

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Chubby Bunny Fun Video

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Hey there! I hope you're having a lovely Wednesday! I've been wanting to post a video of me cramming things into my mouth, and got a bag of marshmallows as a gift in Atlanta that I schlepped back to San Francisco for this. In case you're not familiar, Chubby Bunny is a children's game where you try to put as many marshmallows one by one into your mouth while you can still articulate, "Chubby Bunny." Then when you can't say this anymore, you pop one more in and spit them out. This was my first time and I was a bit conservative because while I was researching this game, I learned that apparently two people have died from choking on the marshmallows! 

How many marshmallows did you think I could put in my mouth?

How many marshmallows can you fit in your mouth? Feel free to send me vids! 

If you like this, I'm happy to make more videos of shoving things in my mouth! I think something like chewing up and spitting out hamburger would approach gross limits maybe :D

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Bay to Breakers Nude Run (Photos & Videos)

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Hey everyone! Sorry I've been out of office for a few days. I've been in a little funk but yesterday my friend dragged me kicking and screaming at 6am to run/walk Bay to Breakers, a ridiculous and extremely San Francisco event that turns a marathon across the city into a giant moving, costumed block party. 

I was feeling bloated and puffy, like Mila Kunis level puffy, and not at all sexy or up for a 7.5 mile anything. But when I saw 50,000 people dressed up as bananas, barefoot Jesus, a Muslim man riding Donald Trump, and a hoard of Kill Bill Brides, I cheered up immediately and rode the wave of irreverent ebullience that makes San Francisco worth living in despite its insane price tag.  

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Okay, but why am I naked? Well, as per San Francisco tradition, there were a bunch of naked guys running with their flaccid balls and penises flapping loosely in the wind, but they were mostly in their 50's and pretty out of shape. I remembered my friends on Patreon and thought you guys would like to see me run around naked in public, so on a flight of whimsy I took my clothes off and started running. I got lots of cheers from women shouting, "YEAH FINALLY NAKED WOMEN EQUALITY!" and lots of of guys quietly taking video. In the main shot I posted, you can see parents pushing a stroller with their kids behind me and a couple of other naked guys offscreen. 

I'm usually totally against disturbing people with unwanted nudity. I don't do nude shoots in places where there could be older people, women, children, etc. who could see me and get disturbed. I don't want to ruin anyone's day. But if you know anything about SF, it's that our absurdly liberal social norms are a point of collective pride. I think people just usually think that they can't show their naked bodies unless they're perfect, so we only get the old dudes who clearly don't give a shit anymore. I felt good running around like this and felt like I made a statement that you don't need to look perfect. You don't need to look like a magazine model. We're just people, and we can do whatever we want. Have you streaked before?

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Sexy Parrot Toy Dance

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Hello! I hope you're having a lovely weekend! I had a shoot on Thursday where the photographer gave me this necklace thing that his sister made. I think it's supposed to be a traditional Mexican art-influenced thing but I thought it looked exactly like the parrot toys I used to give my little lovebird, Atticus. He was my little pet birdy back in Houston and his happily living with ones of my exes back in Texas. Here's a drawing I did of us, if you're familiar with Bioshock Infinite.

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RELEASE THE LOVEBIRDS!!

Oh, and here's a parrot toy for reference:

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Anyways, I was so tickled with this thing that I paired it off with rainbow thigh high socks and a transparent white leotard and went to town in front of my friend's blackout curtain to the tune of Skywalker by Miguel. It's not great stuff, or even good, but I think it can tide us over until I learn better dance moves or get drunk in the future. Disfrutas! 

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If You Laugh, You Lose

I freaking love Vines. I really wish it was still around. Here's my closest approximation of Vines with my IG/FB stories that I've collected over the years that are too weird, sexy, or funny for me to post on my regular feed. Videos like these would not be possible without you, because I got the whole idea for a collection to post on my Patreon, and I wouldn't have the time to learn to edit video and dig through my ridiculous archive of videos without you. I'm looking forward to compiling an extra sexy version of this soon! Before, I had no use for making videos too sexy for FB or IG, but now that I have Patreon, I'm starting to make vids just for you. I'm still refining my collection to post here but I'll have it in a couple of days. Thank you so much again!!

Drunken Lingerie Dancing

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Traveling can be a bit stressful for me -lots of driving on very little sleep, posing until I'm sore, hanging out with a ton of strangers and odd personalities. So I like to decompress at the end of the day and wiggle my butt in the most unabashed way possible. I stream these on my Facebook sometimes, but with more clothes on, and my dancing style can be described as uninformed, unprofessional, and unsuitable for public consumption. So here you go. You can't blackmail me if I post it first :)

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