fun

Eek! Weight Gain Before Fashion Show

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I try not to weigh myself in order to stay sane, but took a peak today before my Saturday fashion show, and yikes! I'm the heaviest I've been in three years. That, and I get a message from my designer this morning informing me that I'm going to be wearing nothing but ethnic Hmong body jewelry... 

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Add to that, this model is pretty tiny. This figure is super coveted in the fashion industry and looks absolutely stunning on the runway, but I've never looked like this in my life. 

Coupled with that, I'm eating now better than ever, less stress-eating, and get enough exercise for a great bubble butt right now, but I've gotten comfy with my life and finally kicked all antidepressants. Which is great, but can also lead to weight gain (30% more likely to go up a weight class than untreated), especially the critical time window of 2-3 years after treatment, which is where I'm at. 

But dammit, I'm way too happy. I love you guys, life is great, food is delicious. So this will be the first time I'll try to lose weight without being super unhappy with how things are right now with my life. I love being curvy, but curvy body types don't gel naturally with fashion body types, and I want to slay this show and jump back into modeling like I never have before. To keep track, I've posted a video of my body right now and will update before my show and during the months after. 

What do you want to improve about yourself right now?

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Wild in Yellowstone (Nude Photos and Video)

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It's my first day back from the oppressive Patreon censors! I had to hide my nude posts from the public and posted each and every one of them back on my personal website. I also need to gut my posts here and photoshop crappy lingerie on myself like above so I can show them in public again.

Anyways, I have SOO many stories, photos, videos, and things to share from my vacation in Yellowstone, but to start, we wandered down a path to Inspiration Point that was shut down and blocked off. I was nervous about what we'd find. Why is it blocked off? Is the path structurally unsound? Are there bears? We're surrounded by sheer cliffs and raging rivers, and looking at them will fill you with both awe and terror. I was surprised by what we found!

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It was an off-duty construction site complete with machinery, bags of cement, pristine Port-o-Potty, and a serendipitous broken can of DEET bug spray buried underneath (I was getting eaten by mosquitoes by that point). They're expanding the path by building a balcony, and the road blocks meant that this site was so private that I could take off my clothes and pose for pictures! It was my lucky day!!

The light is slightly off when we shot with the big crane because it's hard to adjust for sunset light when two sides from the subject are sheer cliffs into nothingness. The sand and soil was also so loose that I had trouble climbing up and down on all fours. I felt vertigo mixed with excitement and mischief. Hope you enjoy and I can't wait to post more from my trip!

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Patron Suspension/ Vacation in Yellowstone!

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Good evening! You probably noticed some changes in my Patreon lately. My account got suspended for non-family friendly content (gasp!) and it took me a couple of days to get it back. It turns out I can't have any nude photos, even censored, posted publicly, so I had to lock my juicy content to Patron-Only until I reformat my entire page. This shouldn't affect anything for existing Patrons, it just hurts my current ability to attract new ones. I kind of lost my shit for a bit over this, but luckily now I'm in Yellowstone enjoying a nice internet break. 

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Anyways, I arrived in Yellowstone yesterday after I missed my connecting flight and spent a night in Seattle without any clothes other than the slinky, form-fitting polyester dress I had on. So I arrived at my friend's place at midnight soaked in rain and shivering like a chihuahua. We visited the Bozeman Museum of the Rockies which was a dream for paleontology nerds. I also saw one of those Crisis Pregnancy Centers, pseudo-medical facilities that bait and switch desperate young mothers. John Oliver did a segment on them.  

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God, if I had the time and no people around, I'd do SO many nude shots on and around this van with my belly puffed out like I'm three months pregnant. 

Anyways, I put my vacation photos so far in my Dropbox for you :) I should have much juicier stuff soon, like climbing trees or lying by a roaring river naked, but it's been freakishly cold today and busy because of the weekend, so I need to wait until Tuesday to shoot what I really want. Thanks for sticking with me while I get some R&R! 

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Skinny Dipping in Inverness! (Nude Video)

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I hope you had a lovely Memorial Day weekend! I definitely had a blast. A few of my friends visited from Germany and it was a full three days of immersion in a language I started learning last week. Lots of gutteral "guuSCHH-GHHHUUH-ISH" *cough*

Yesterday I found myself in Inverness, which is a sleepy little beach town 1.5 hours from San Francisco, nestled in the Point Reyes National Seashore. My friends' friend has a cottage right on the water and is a Professor Emeritus. He has an MD, PhD, and MPH, and currently devotes his life to doing research on occupational safety, health, and working conditions. I don't think there is enough support for people to be safe and healthy when they work, and it breaks my heart when people need to sacrifice their health to feed their families, etc., so I think his research is really noble and worthwhile.

Anyways, it was 55-60°F, but I jumped into the water anyways for your viewing pleasure, and I've got to say that the water was salty, muddy, and full of slimy, solicitous seaweed that kept brushing up against my body and nether regions no matter where or how I swam. A little bit of the video is cut out where I say, "Oh, I guess since this is for social media, I should pretend that everything's perfect and I have lots of money and am in a tropical paradise." before I drop back into cold-ass, muddy water with seaweed up my cootch.

Afterwards, we returned to the tiny cottage and ate fresh, local fish prepared with an Old German recipe, salad greens from the garden, homemade Elderflower Italian soda, and local ice cream they kept in old Sauerkraut jars. Sehr lecker! It was really fobby and very wholesome :)

How was your holiday?

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Bay to Breakers Nude Run (Photos & Videos)

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Hey everyone! Sorry I've been out of office for a few days. I've been in a little funk but yesterday my friend dragged me kicking and screaming at 6am to run/walk Bay to Breakers, a ridiculous and extremely San Francisco event that turns a marathon across the city into a giant moving, costumed block party. 

I was feeling bloated and puffy, like Mila Kunis level puffy, and not at all sexy or up for a 7.5 mile anything. But when I saw 50,000 people dressed up as bananas, barefoot Jesus, a Muslim man riding Donald Trump, and a hoard of Kill Bill Brides, I cheered up immediately and rode the wave of irreverent ebullience that makes San Francisco worth living in despite its insane price tag.  

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Okay, but why am I naked? Well, as per San Francisco tradition, there were a bunch of naked guys running with their flaccid balls and penises flapping loosely in the wind, but they were mostly in their 50's and pretty out of shape. I remembered my friends on Patreon and thought you guys would like to see me run around naked in public, so on a flight of whimsy I took my clothes off and started running. I got lots of cheers from women shouting, "YEAH FINALLY NAKED WOMEN EQUALITY!" and lots of of guys quietly taking video. In the main shot I posted, you can see parents pushing a stroller with their kids behind me and a couple of other naked guys offscreen. 

I'm usually totally against disturbing people with unwanted nudity. I don't do nude shoots in places where there could be older people, women, children, etc. who could see me and get disturbed. I don't want to ruin anyone's day. But if you know anything about SF, it's that our absurdly liberal social norms are a point of collective pride. I think people just usually think that they can't show their naked bodies unless they're perfect, so we only get the old dudes who clearly don't give a shit anymore. I felt good running around like this and felt like I made a statement that you don't need to look perfect. You don't need to look like a magazine model. We're just people, and we can do whatever we want. Have you streaked before?

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Sexy Parrot Toy Dance

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Hello! I hope you're having a lovely weekend! I had a shoot on Thursday where the photographer gave me this necklace thing that his sister made. I think it's supposed to be a traditional Mexican art-influenced thing but I thought it looked exactly like the parrot toys I used to give my little lovebird, Atticus. He was my little pet birdy back in Houston and his happily living with ones of my exes back in Texas. Here's a drawing I did of us, if you're familiar with Bioshock Infinite.

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RELEASE THE LOVEBIRDS!!

Oh, and here's a parrot toy for reference:

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Anyways, I was so tickled with this thing that I paired it off with rainbow thigh high socks and a transparent white leotard and went to town in front of my friend's blackout curtain to the tune of Skywalker by Miguel. It's not great stuff, or even good, but I think it can tide us over until I learn better dance moves or get drunk in the future. Disfrutas! 

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On Being Insane

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What do you think is the next frontier of #civilrights and #socialjustice? For me, it will be the #freedom to express my style and ideas without #slutshaming or ostracism from my communities. I've always been like this, and always straddled multiple cultural and academic worlds. And if I'm not hurting anyone and can contribute to their goals, I'd like to fully be myself with this only life I have. 

Maybe the world isn't ready for women like me yet, and I'll be shut out from representing #Taiwan, #Texas, #science, #tech, career women etc. Maybe I won't be able to live the full life I dreamed of. But if I keep doing this, maybe the next #generation of girls can be free, and that's worth it for me. 🤗

31 IG/FB Story Videos are up!

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If you follow either my Instagram or Facebook stories, you'll know that I post goofy little videos of myself and my life every day. I try to keep them playful and interesting. I can't stand other models' stories that are only their selfies with dog filters or shots of their food. Anyways, they're about 5-15 seconds long and disappear forever into the ether of the internet after 24 hours, and I have hundreds of these archived that I'd like to share with you over time. I posted 28 cute, silly ones, and want to thank you again for supporting me

And for my $18+ patrons, I posted three nude stories as an extra special thank you! 

Fan Questions:

1. Any cool plans this weekend?

2. U up?

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