funny

6 Useful German Phrases for Perseid Meteor Shower

The Perseid meteor shower is happening right now! The peak was last night and tonight but it's just stupid cloudy and cold right now in Bay Area. I was trying to learn German and came up with relevant phrases. What kind of videos do you want to see? What kind of topics do you want me to talk about? 

Man, I'm watching my very first hot wings interview video on Youtube and now I really want some buffalo wings XD

Palmia Photos and Updated Fun/Sexy Short Vids

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Hey there! I'm sorry for the post delay. I'll be posting every day for the next few days and getting back to messages as penitence. It's been a mix of being under the weather and balls to the wall kiddie bubble shows this week. Popping lots of Ibuprofen and icing my sides. Speaking of ice, I just finished these photos with Palmia, a friend's beer brand available in stores all over the Bay Area. We shot this at my uncle's pool during our family reunion. I also posted some goofball videos from this shoot and updated my IG/FB short stories videos page. 

Tomorrow I'll post a sexy, poisonous BTS bath vid from my shoot on Friday with Lou Roule visiting from Brooklyn. I think you'll really like it! 

What are you up to this weekend?

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Fashion photosets available to $1, $4, $9, $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150 Patrons 

Fun videosets available to $9, $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150 Patrons 

Sexy videosets available to $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150 Patrons 

I made a new Patreon Intro Video!

It's funny once you get over the weird little emotional or mental blocks to getting something done, it can flow out of your fingertips in no time at all. Ever since I've taken on a very public life, I've been compulsively taken little videos whenever I can. It's a little bit annoying because precious moments usually can't wait to record two videos, so I have to choose between horizontal for Youtube or TV which I don't often use, or vertical for most social media. It is what it is, hope you enjoy! 

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FB/IG Fun and Sexy Video Bank

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How are you! We're up a bit late :) If you follow either my Instagram or Facebook stories, you'll know that I post goofy little videos of myself and my life every day. I try to keep them playful and interesting. I can't stand other models' stories that are only their selfies with dog filters or shots of their food. Anyways, they're about 5-15 seconds long and disappear forever into the ether of the internet after 24 hours, and I have hundreds of these archived that I'd like to share with you over time. I posted 51 cute, silly ones, and 14 sexy, slinky ones, to thank you again for supporting me.

Car Nerding Stuff

I'm watching instructional videos because I want to start a sexy girl car detailing side gig so I can get more jobs near home instead of out of state, and wow, I had no idea detailing was soooo complex. I'm only going to learn the basics because I feel like that's what most people want, but it's nice to watch why my work won't look like the pros. Cleaning a cloudy headlight takes about ten steps with multiple grades of sanding, polishing, conditioning, and sealing. Cleaning a windshield first uses a razor blade to shear off dirt that's deeply bonded to the glass, and that looks so easy to fuck up and scratch the glass :O 

Detailing can be astonishingly technical and tools and techniques used are informed by material, chemistry, porosity, pressure, temperature, etc that bonds dirt or degrades the surface through decades of extreme conditions. It's easy to nerd out and I can see why it's a passion for some people, weird, weird OCD people who are too broke to buy fancy cars but can sure as hell clean them XD 

But the results are magical. You can take a beat up, old ass, historic car rotting in someone's garage, and lovingly polish it up to look better than brand new, just glowing, and glass smooth. I can take my dinged up 2013 Honda Fit that's been with me through cross country road trips, literal spilled milk in the upholstery, fender benders, water damage, etc, and hopefully make it young, bright, and beautiful again. Man, if only we could detail ourselves when we're old like we can our cars XD

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Access Link:

Fun videosets available to $9, $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150 Patrons 

Sexy videosets available to $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150 Patrons 

I hate Kpop 😆

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Good evening! I hope you're well! I've narrowed down two potential tenants who would take good care of my former elderly roommate and a fan helped me move a big dresser I got on Craigslist for $50 to my room. I cooked us dinner of a beef/soy spinach lasagna with mashed white beans instead of ricotta, and a banana pudding. I really like making healthier versions of comfort food. 

Anyways, I've always had an irrational hatred of Korean pop music. It's so saccharine, choreographed, artificial, and I've always felt suffocated by East Asian femininity ideals. As you can see, I'm a pretty thick Asian, fat by Asian standards, and Korean models/singers really push the limits of skinny, pale, plastic-surgery perfection that is antithetical to everything I am and want to be. 

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'Gee' by Girls Generation is an exception because it reminds me of my friend in college, a gay mixed-race Korean kid from Alabama. He loved how cute this song is. I think the dance is adorable so I recorded my version of it for you! It also includes me gagging, collapsing, and then coming back as a zombie. I uploaded two versions of the dancing. The first one, the dancing is better in my opinion, but the second one the theatrics are better. 

Fan Questions:

What songs would you like to see me dance to?

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My Yellowstone Vid is Up!!

 

Yay I finished my Yellowstone video to share with you! Thank you so much for supporting my little side projects. Now that I have you all, I have no idea how I lived and how I will live without you to help me and to share my experiences with you. I need to keep things really tight and short on social media for marketing, so it's so nice to have a long form place here where I can post anything I damn please :D

Moving to Berkeley! 

Side note, today I filled out my rental application for an apt in Berkeley that I'm sharing with friends. We're shuffling the rent a bit so I pay less than listed, but it was funny to write RENT: $847.03/mo, INCOME: $1,000/mo (THANK YOU PATREON!!!!). My last place was rent-controlled with a sweet 76 year-old man who lived there forever with late stage diabetes. He was wonderful and like a grandfather to me, but I couldn't cook because the kitchen was dirty and full of rotten food, and everything kind of smells like urine and illness. It's an absolute steal at $750/mo, and I beat out 30 other applicants for the slot. I posted the opening on CL two days ago and already have 36 applications for the room. 

Things still don't quite work out financially for me yet, but you guys help SO MUCH. I can't wait to have a real job again, but have had to put my life on hold for the past two years due to crippling PTSD, and anxiety. I've never shared it in public before, but I think it'll be really helpful for me, and I'll share tiny tidbits on privately on my Patreon. Maybe we can get through our things together! 

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Lots of hugs and kisses!!

Chubby Bunny Fun Video

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Hey there! I hope you're having a lovely Wednesday! I've been wanting to post a video of me cramming things into my mouth, and got a bag of marshmallows as a gift in Atlanta that I schlepped back to San Francisco for this. In case you're not familiar, Chubby Bunny is a children's game where you try to put as many marshmallows one by one into your mouth while you can still articulate, "Chubby Bunny." Then when you can't say this anymore, you pop one more in and spit them out. This was my first time and I was a bit conservative because while I was researching this game, I learned that apparently two people have died from choking on the marshmallows! 

How many marshmallows did you think I could put in my mouth?

How many marshmallows can you fit in your mouth? Feel free to send me vids! 

If you like this, I'm happy to make more videos of shoving things in my mouth! I think something like chewing up and spitting out hamburger would approach gross limits maybe :D

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Access Link:

Fun videosets available to $9, $18, $29, $49, $99, and $150Patrons 

If You Laugh, You Lose

I freaking love Vines. I really wish it was still around. Here's my closest approximation of Vines with my IG/FB stories that I've collected over the years that are too weird, sexy, or funny for me to post on my regular feed. Videos like these would not be possible without you, because I got the whole idea for a collection to post on my Patreon, and I wouldn't have the time to learn to edit video and dig through my ridiculous archive of videos without you. I'm looking forward to compiling an extra sexy version of this soon! Before, I had no use for making videos too sexy for FB or IG, but now that I have Patreon, I'm starting to make vids just for you. I'm still refining my collection to post here but I'll have it in a couple of days. Thank you so much again!!