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Terrifying Train Track Mine Story (Nudes)

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Hey! Thank you for sticking with me. I'm trying to quit my anti-anxiety/depression medication because they've been giving me nerve pains and screaming tinnitus, and now I'm in the part of my recovery where I still have all the side-effects and withdrawal symptoms, but none of the benefits, so I've been on an emotional bender the past week. 

I sent personal monthly videos yesterday with exception of one :) and tomorrow I'll post a dance video. 

The Story Behind This Shoot

This set was from last year when I made regular trips to Las Vegas. It was the middle of the summer, blazing hot, and the photographer wanted to shoot in an abandoned mine shaft and ACTIVE train tracks. The mine was super fun and gave me insane ankle strengthening exercises walking on broken limestone in stilettos. He really wanted to shoot me lying down on the train tracks, and I was nervous but agreed. We shot a little bit and I heard the train horn, "Whooooooo"  and I told him I wanted to leave. He said, "No, no it's fine. I shoot here all the time. I know all about trains. I know the sounds. It's not close by. Let's keep shooting." And as an downtrodden little Asian women, I learned to defer to authority, especially since I need the money and sometimes photographers like to push or yell at me. So I kept shooting. "Whooooooo" The train was closer. I told him I was scared. I lived my whole life by a train. It's getting louder. I want to go. "No, no," he said, reasserting his train, field, and photography expertise. "WHOOO!" The train is eerily loud now. I said, "I can't do this. I need to go. I'm scared. I'm sorry." and I scampered off with my tail between my legs down the rocks below the tracks, defeated. Thirty seconds later, 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Train roars by, shaking the earth and throwing up debris. My skull and my ribs are shaking from the tremors. I don't know if you've ever stood next to a freight train going at full speed, but it's a force to behold. After the train leaves, I look at the photographer, he's in a sweat, staring forward. 

I really wish I grew up learning strength instead of weakness. It's common in many societies to teach children to obey and fear rather than to be strong and empowered. Many cultures routinely break their girls mentally like horses to teach them deference, submissiveness, and service to men, family, authority, anyone but themselves. 

Modeling has been my journey to reclaim myself, to fully own myself, my body, my life, and my spirit. Many scary things have happened to me, instead of letting fear rule my life and in the home, I've approached these fears head on and learned strength and conviction in the process. Instead of growing up soft and weak, spoon-fed indoctrinations through a slotted wall, waiting for permission to live, I ran away and became a wild and feral thing. And I'm a better friend, lover, and artist for it. Thank you for being part of my journey! 

What terrifying experience did you learn from? 

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Flora Fauna Duo Figure Shoot (Nudes)

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Hi everyone! Hope you're well! I just got back from Los Angeles and shot for my friend's beer company, Palmia and had a small family reunion to celebrate my little brother introducing his fiance to everyone :D The two are high school sweethearts and they knew each other since they were five years old. It was really fun and sweet and I loved seeing everyone. I'll post the Palmia photos soon! 

I've also got an awful cough right now that so severe, I tore a ligament on my obliques and can barely walk right now XD I've never felt anything like this but I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow so that I can keep working. Wish me luck! 

I just got this set back from my shoot with Flora and Fauna, the hippie girl who stayed with me for a week with her boyfriend and baby, and SeconDLife Photography, the favorite photographer of every traveling model I've met. Gosh, you can really tell that she's really in touch with herself and an incredibly sensual person. She makes me look repressed and Puritanical in comparison! While I was doing the awkward hover hand over her, she ground her hips into me, and I felt this electric mix of hard pubic bone and fluffy pubic hair. It made me feel like a dude with a bomb ass girl at my place, and it was really cool! I have four sets from this shoot that I'll post gradually. I hope you enjoy! 

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Mare Island Duo Shoot

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Hi everyone! I hope you're having a lovely week. How are you spending your summer? I've been doing a bunch of magic bubble shows for kids. I took over my friend's gigs when he had to leave town after his boyfriend passed away, and I enjoyed the work so much that I've kept doing it. It's cute and goofy and the complete opposite of glamorous and I'll do a video for you when I can! 

I did a shoot with Sam Shiva and model Inertia Creeps on a place called Mare Island. I don't know why it's called Mare Island, but I'm rewatching Silicon Valley and can't get that horse breeding scene out of my head. I really can't believe they included that in the show:

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It's really fun to work with these too and a super chill atmosphere. I got a small fashion duo set, and an urban lingerie set in an awesome industrial setting. I posted the first one today and can't wait to share the second when I finish! 

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A Deep Secret (Diary, Photos, and Video)

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[This diary post is Patreon-subscription only! But here are some pictures]

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Darkest Fox and Big Ass Boots

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Good evening! I hope you had a lovely July 4th! I watched fireworks by the pier with my cousin. I did a shoot yesterday with a San Francisco fetish lingerie company, Darkest Fox and kickass pair of super high leather boots given to me by a fan. We had a latex bodysuit and a series of body jewelry. When I look at these photos, I remember that I used to be irritated by my inherently thick body type. To me it doesn't look very professional, but after all the positive feedback I got from you guys, it makes me really glad that I'm unique and my look resonates with you. Thank you so much for tremendous boost to my self-confidence!! You're the best. 

Another model is staying over with me tomorrow for a week. Flora and Fauna  is visiting from Patagonia with her boyfriend and little baby. I'm in awe that she can travel full-time with a baby literally at her breast, and can't wait to pick her brain and get to know them. 

I got a request to post an anonymous-style dancing video of the hips and waist, which sounds fun! I'll do that this weekend. I hope you're well! 

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Shibari Candids (Nude)

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I was digging through my old photos and found these two candid photos of one of my first shoots, a shibari theme. I censored it here so I can post it in public but have the full uncensored images in my Dropbox. I wish I had more than two of these images, but I have no idea where the other images are, and I was so shy back then. I didn't think I had the right body or look for this kind of work, and looking back, even just two years later, I realize that I was so darn cute and too hard on myself. It's too easy to look at what we think we should be and focus on how we fall short. Anyways, I'll post personal videos and a bonus video tomorrow here :)

Fan Question:

1. What positive quality do you wish you recognized more in yourself?

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Wild in Yellowstone (Nude Photos and Video)

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It's my first day back from the oppressive Patreon censors! I had to hide my nude posts from the public and posted each and every one of them back on my personal website. I also need to gut my posts here and photoshop crappy lingerie on myself like above so I can show them in public again.

Anyways, I have SOO many stories, photos, videos, and things to share from my vacation in Yellowstone, but to start, we wandered down a path to Inspiration Point that was shut down and blocked off. I was nervous about what we'd find. Why is it blocked off? Is the path structurally unsound? Are there bears? We're surrounded by sheer cliffs and raging rivers, and looking at them will fill you with both awe and terror. I was surprised by what we found!

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It was an off-duty construction site complete with machinery, bags of cement, pristine Port-o-Potty, and a serendipitous broken can of DEET bug spray buried underneath (I was getting eaten by mosquitoes by that point). They're expanding the path by building a balcony, and the road blocks meant that this site was so private that I could take off my clothes and pose for pictures! It was my lucky day!!

The light is slightly off when we shot with the big crane because it's hard to adjust for sunset light when two sides from the subject are sheer cliffs into nothingness. The sand and soil was also so loose that I had trouble climbing up and down on all fours. I felt vertigo mixed with excitement and mischief. Hope you enjoy and I can't wait to post more from my trip!

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