Hey everyone! Sorry I've been out of office for a few days. I've been in a little funk but yesterday my friend dragged me kicking and screaming at 6am to run/walk Bay to Breakers, a ridiculous and extremely San Francisco event that turns a marathon across the city into a giant moving, costumed block party.
I was feeling bloated and puffy, like Mila Kunis level puffy, and not at all sexy or up for a 7.5 mile anything. But when I saw 50,000 people dressed up as bananas, barefoot Jesus, a Muslim man riding Donald Trump, and a hoard of Kill Bill Brides, I cheered up immediately and rode the wave of irreverent ebullience that makes San Francisco worth living in despite its insane price tag.
Okay, but why am I naked? Well, as per San Francisco tradition, there were a bunch of naked guys running with their flaccid balls and penises flapping loosely in the wind, but they were mostly in their 50's and pretty out of shape. I remembered my friends on Patreon and thought you guys would like to see me run around naked in public, so on a flight of whimsy I took my clothes off and started running. I got lots of cheers from women shouting, "YEAH FINALLY NAKED WOMEN EQUALITY!" and lots of of guys quietly taking video. In the main shot I posted, you can see parents pushing a stroller with their kids behind me and a couple of other naked guys offscreen.
I'm usually totally against disturbing people with unwanted nudity. I don't do nude shoots in places where there could be older people, women, children, etc. who could see me and get disturbed. I don't want to ruin anyone's day. But if you know anything about SF, it's that our absurdly liberal social norms are a point of collective pride. I think people just usually think that they can't show their naked bodies unless they're perfect, so we only get the old dudes who clearly don't give a shit anymore. I felt good running around like this and felt like I made a statement that you don't need to look perfect. You don't need to look like a magazine model. We're just people, and we can do whatever we want. Have you streaked before?