uncensored

野女 "Wild Woman"

yenu-uncensored.jpg

野女, pronounced "ye nu". Literally "wild woman," a whore who flouts social mores, refuses to act like a good Chinese lady, and is recklessly independent and uninhibited. I was taught to fear this label but I embrace it now 🤗

I'm not totally fluent in Mandarin but as far as I know, this is the most offensive thing you can call a woman. I remember just from the intonation, they way you say it while almost spitting in disgust, I knew it was something I didn't want to be called. But here I am, years after doing me, and I fully deserve this title. And I'm cool with it :) When I go about my day or work on my pictures, I sometimes say "yenu yenu yenu yenu yenu yenu" to the tune of Gucci Gang or as a random aside. It has a nice ring to it! 

pc: Robert Davis

The People I Let into My Heart <3

window-girl-polar.jpg

An older gentleman: "What do you do for a living?"

Me: "I'm a model."

Him: "What did you do before?"

Me: "I worked in cancer research."

Him: "Really? That's not what stupid girls do."

_____________________________________________________________

I'm struggling right now a bit with my new identity. People nervous to have me near their husbands in polite company, people who idolize me and project their dreams and insecurities onto me beyond reason, people who become so obsessed with me that it interferes with my life and ability to function. 

It's very new to me and I'm not used to this attention. I love to meet new fans, inspire people, and make new friends all over the world. That's so rewarding for me, and I'm so happy to have you in my life. But I didn't come into this career to become famous. I don't need everyone's attention. Actually the opposite, I get nightmares almost every night that I can't keep up with everyone and disappoint people. Some aspects of this wonderful new life have spun out into fear. 

I made this Patreon to hopefully filter through the noise and make a private group of people who really care about me. Who want to celebrate with me when things go well and help me when things go badly. Who don't want to just tear a piece out of me for themselves, shout at me the loudest, and clutter my mind. I really like this quiet room we made for ourselves, where hopefully we can be true. 

It's going to take me time to build this up and make it what I want it to be. Thank you for being patient, supporting me, and watching me grow :)

giphy (1).gif

#goals

toothbrush.jpg

*I'll post another set later today!*

I sometimes hesitate to commit to a certain body type because a) I'm Southern and don't believe everyone should aspire to the hella lean, slender modeley look, and b) I've always rankled against concepts of biopower esp in respect to women. But I think that really does look much more photogenic for me and will help me achieve what I want in my photos. So here's to the gradual resolution of internal conflicts and the unreserved refinement of my body and mind as an instrument for my art, a vessel for passions, and someday a conduit for greater purpose than myself.

Here's the uncensored version btw:  

f2be4bf68ee64981b73ff802cd32ec19.jpeg

Also, this Key and Peele skit is me 120%. I've watched it five times today. Maybe you can relate to it! 

Fan Questions:

1. What are you working on with yourself and how can we help? :)